Reflection on Siddhartha Chapters 1-6

As I first began to read Siddhartha I was intrigued by the willpower of Siddhartha, and how he refused to follow popular doctrines, and focus his energy on connecting with his inner self. Siddhartha was born a Brahmins's son, and had many expectations to follow. "Joy leaped into his father's heart at the thought of his son, this studious boy with his thirst for knowledge; he envisioned him growing up to be a great wise man and priest, a prince among Brahmins" (Hesse 3-4). Siddhartha's father's wish was that he will be successful, though Siddhartha still feels as though he is missing something. He is not reaching full potential with the current instruction his has been given. He believes that he can teach himself. He already knows how influential he can be from his experiences with Govinda, who practically worships him. "His mind was not content, his soul not at peace, his heart restless" (Hesse 5). Siddhartha began to realize that knowledge isn't everything, books are great but they did nothing in finding peace within yourself. "...but was there value in knowing all these things without knowing the One, the Only thing, that which was important above all else, that was indeed, the sole matter of importance" (Hesse 6). This "One and only thing" was inner self and essence that could radiate off of someone.

            One of the biggest struggles in this novel is the mistake of constant soul searching. Govinda feels that he always needs to follow the best doctrine, and do everything "by the book". Siddhartha has to let Govinda go to find himself in the teachings of Buddha, instead of following him. This was a very selfless move because Govinda loved Siddhartha so much that it would be more of a loss to him because he is losing his lifelong companion. "Be satisfied, Govinfa! The teachings of the Sublime One are excellent; how could I find an error in them?" (Hesse 28). In this line Siddhartha is basically saying that one person can find Buddha's teachings great and others may not have the same reaction. He wants him to go because it will benefit Govinda, and lead him closer to reaching nirvana. "I won't let my life and my thought begin with Atman and the world's sorrows. No more killing myself, no more chopping myself into bits in the hope of finding a secret hidden among the debris. I will no longer follow Yoga- Veda, or Atharva- Veda, or the ascetics, or any other doctrine. I'll be my own teacher, my own pupil. I'll study myself, learn the secret that is Siddhartha" (Hesse 35). Once Siddhartha will find this secret to himself, it will open up more doors and allow himself to see the world with fresh eyes. Siddhartha has much more self discovering to come though, for now he is on the right track.